Listen up SoHo Journal readers; I have a confession to make: Despite all appearances, I am not a good person. I know, I know, for the six or seven of you that actually read my column, this revelation comes as quite a shock. But I’ve come to the realization lately that even though I am not fit for public consumption, I’m still a worthwhile member of society. Not only that, but also worthy of your envy. It’s true. Here, let me run you through my thought process.